Have you ever had someone tell you there were going to “try” to do something and you were left wondering – what do they mean “try”? Are they going to do it or not?
What do you mean “you’ll try”? Will you do it or not?
“Try” means to examine, investigate judicially or make an attempt. So, if you say you’ll “try” to do something what does that really mean? Check this out and “try” to pick up your phone. No, I didn’t say pick up your phone. I said “try to pick up your phone.” When you “try” to pick up your phone you don’t actually pick it up. Trying to pick up the phone results in not picking up the phone.
When someone tells you they’ll try to be there on time or they’ll try to get back with you by the end of the day, or they’ll try to fix the computer, how do you feel about what they’re saying? Does the word “try” communicate that they will, that they will not or that they might?
What if instead the communication went more like this:
“My plan is to be there on time and I’ll be driving from across town. If I see that I’m going to be late, I will call you.”
“I will get back to you by the end of the day with an update on my progress whether the report is complete at that time or not.”
“I don’t know if I can fix the computer problem until I check it out. I will take a look at it and get back with you regarding what I can offer to do.”
Sometimes when someone says they’ll “try” they’re either not sure about their ability to accomplish what’s been requested or they do not have a commitment to do something and don’t want to admit it. Some people will use “try” just to look like they’re saying “yes” without any intention to really do what they are saying. “Try” can be a “safeguard” for the person to come back and say “well I tried”. ”Try” is a confusing word that can be misleading and lead to misunderstandings and unfulfilled expectations.
When you’ve used the word “try” in the past, what have you really meant? Were you being vague on purpose? Or have you just gotten sloppy with how you speak your intentions? Or do you say “try” out of habit without really thinking about what you mean? Well, that’s the past. Now you can consciously choose to upgrade your language and speak with ownership, power and clarity.
Replace “I’ll try” with “I will . . . ” and notice what’s new and different in your world.
Own your power. Speak your truth. Negotiate an agreement that you can honor. Say what you will do.
I am interested in hearing what happens when you replace “I’ll try” with “I will.”
